Having a hard time letting go

Original Post Date: July 23, 2008

I thought it might be easier than this. I really did. But I am suffering some severe Fiddler on the Roof withdrawal. I miss everybody! I'm so sad that I won't be playing Tzeitel again...at least not with the wonderful people I've spent the last 3+ months with at the UCDT!

I was doing really well. I changed my profile pictures on Myspace and Facebook. I changed my name on Myspace (and I'm even waiting a bit to put up my next character name.) I changed my signature on my e-mail. But today...I had to take the Fiddler music off my iPod. The past 2 days at work, I've had Musicals on random. Every time a song from Fiddler came on, I skipped through it. I couldn't bear to listen to it without getting a little misty-eyed. And then what did I go and do? I changed my desktop picture on my computer to a picture of me and my Fiddler sisters. I couldn't help myself!!!!

It's not like I'm going to see everyone again. We've got the Tiny Awards this Saturday, and Spencer's musical the next weekend. And I'll be going back to see more shows at the UCDT. But we will never be all together, performing Fiddler on the Roof, ever again! That is so sad! It's been an amazing ride, from beginning to end. I think the biggest struggle I'm having is coming to grips with the fact that it's finally over. It took so long for it to finally come, and now it's gone. I initially auditioned for the show in March of 2007. Callbacks were in June, and I found out soon after that I would be playing Fruma Sarah. I then spent 9 months waiting. Then came the fateful call from Seth in the middle of March. Would I play Tzeitel? Heck, yes! Then rehearsals started. Then we opened. Then we extended. And now....it's all over! Where did the time go? What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I had the most amazing theatrical experience of my entire life. I never thought I'd have that again after Titanic. And yet...here it was. Amazing cast, amazing show, amazing theatre...a cosmic boom of Theatrical Perfection. Okay, it wasn't perfect. Louise reminded us of that just last Saturday night. (RIP Louise). Then there was little baby Aizik. He was so abused. You'll all be interested to know that the abuse will continue. I'm going to use the doll as Mildred Keller in "The Miracle Worker." He is now a she, and she gets tossed out of the cradle by Helen.

I'm going to be okay. Rehearsals are in full swing for "The Miracle Worker" and I'm focusing on memorizing all my lines. After that I go right into rehearsals for the Loveland Opera Theatre Gala. And we have "The Elixir of Love" starting up right after that, so I'll be keeping very busy! No time to dwell on my Fiddler withdrawal. It'll help when I can scrapbook the show. The pictures are ordered. I'll be able to start soon! That always helps in the healing process. I can feel real closure once a show is fully scrapbooked.

I still can't believe it's over! Can't we do it one more time? No, we can't. I'm not hauling the sewing machine back into my van and back over to Greeley. I guess we're done, then!!

*sniffle*