I'm Not That Girl

Original Post Date: August 2, 2007

This isn't really about anyone in particular. Maybe it's about a lot of people in particular. I don't know. I'm not in the mood to try and figure it all out. But these song lyrics are screaming in my head today:

Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl

Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy
I'm not that girl

Ev'ry so often we long to steal
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in
Blithe smile, lithe limb
She who's winsome, she wins him
Gold hair with a gentle curl
That's the girl he chose
And Heaven knows
I'm not that girl

Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
There's a girl I know
He loves her so
I'm not that girl.

That's from Wicked. Elphie sings this song when she thinks that Fiyero loves Glinda. The song pretty much sums up my life.

I'm going to turn into a house elf from Harry Potter and start flogging myself for doing stupid things. Maybe then I'll learn. I'm really like Ezma in The Emporer's New Groove. "There's a wall there."

*crawls back behind her protective barrier*